Caring for yourself is not self indulgent or selfish, but it is an act of survival and maintaining balance. If you feel uneasy, uncomfortable or unsettled when alone, this means you are having trouble connecting with yourself. If there is a disconnection or lack of self, it can result in self abandonment. Many of us were raised to abandon ourselves for the sake of pleasing people. Self abandonment leads to anger, anxiety, depression, lack of self-worth and low self esteem.
We often seek validation and love from the outside as a means of escape, leading to disappointment. We are left with disappointment because no one person can love you the way you need or want to be loved, besides yourself. Learning to love yourself is important because no one person can fill voids and provide happiness. The voids that need to be filled are your own work, with the occasional support of friends, family, and loved ones. Caring for yourself is self-preservation. Setting boundaries with emotionally healthy people will usually be respected, whereas with “toxic” relationships, the boundary will be pushed. Plan and prepare for how you will respond to boundary pushers.
We tend to get hung up on setting intentions and manifesting our wants and needs, but it’s important to align your intentions with actions. Create plans and goals towards building your future. Don’t be afraid to write down what you want or make a list of what you are looking for in life. We create our own universe, including our environment.
Sometimes the person you need to forgive is yourself. We tend to judge ourselves the harshest. Remember that mistakes are just lessons that we need to learn, and sometimes it takes many mistakes to learn. Failure is also not necessarily a bad thing. Failure is just a stepping stone of experience that will morphe into wisdom if you are open.
*What is one small thing you can do or change today towards creating the life you want?
Self awareness is learning the uneasy feeling that you have, and understanding what your own needs are and then fulfilling those needs yourself. Peace can feel boring and make you restless if you aren’t used to having balance and not being in fight or flight, thus creating the urge to seek that familiar environment.
Homework: What is something you are currently struggling with? How does it make you feel right now? Think of another time in your life where you felt this same feeling. What happened then? Write a letter to that version of yourself in the past, with the same wound, and tell yourself everything you wish someone told you. Think of everything you needed to hear then.